5. Erik the Fruit-king

I think most of you will have seen this already. But even at the height of Pompey's cup winning, Milan drawing genius, i dont think we had much commercial appeal and as far as im concerned none of the players (save maybe Yoshi) were in adverts. So behold, Erik the Viking is the star of this fruit based love in with fellow nordic superstars Riise and Mosten Gamst.

The advert is cheesy. But things could be worse...

6. The game is afoot

As millions of TV viewers settled down last Sunday to watch Tim out of the office and the spectacularly named Benedict Cumberbatch muddle through an expensively constructed riddle in Sherlock and even more around the world munched their way through popcorn whilst observing Jude Law and Robert Downy Jnr in the more extensively titled Sherlock Holmes I can't imagine many would have spent any length of time considering the genius expert penmanship of the original manuscripts from Arthur Conan Doyle. Doyle himself has a fascinating back story including being a ships doctor on a West African voyage, a political figure campaigning about Congo ( I can only imagine LuaLua's gratitude), his works were banned in the Soviet Union for reasons I can't grasp and he was a close personal friend of Harry Houdini. Of course his most famous achievement was playing in goal for Portsmouth football club, kind of. He left Portsmouth in 1890, 8 years before Pompey were formed with one Matt Reilly in goal, but Doyle certainly played amateur football for AFC Portsmouth under the pseudonym A C Smith, and a number of AFC Portsmouth players joined Pompey when they were formed so he was a forerunner. I like to think as he waited for games to kick off he would mutter to himself: 'the game is afoot'  

7. Pompey saved by rubbish striker

Yakubu had turned up from Israel at the tail end of the promotion season, with some classically lazy, slightly racism journalism speculating that no-one knew how old he really was and how the club were going to have to age test his bones to see how old he actually was. Anyway he provided an important boost to the promotion push that had suffered a Christmas slump. The next year in the Premier league he had gone ten games without scoring, 60 shots had led to 9 goals (still a significantly better ratio than Kitson's 1 goal for 15 shots). So 'Arry had a brainwave, Yakubu needed help, and that help was going to come in the form of a man who had been subject to a transfer deal to AC Milan af the man they needed came in the form of Luther Blisset, to continue the mild racism, Blisset had himself apparently been sold to AC Milan after they had mistaken him for John Barnes (!). Luther 'It doesnt matter how much money they pay you to play in Italy, you cant get Rice Krispies' Blisset was employed as a striker coach. Unbelievably it worked and Yakubu went on to score 14 goals in the last 16 games of the season. I distinctly remember signing 'One Luther Blissett' in celebration as the Yak blasted one in at Ewood Park. In fact it was so successful 'Arry reused the formula in inviting Les Ferdinand to the Spurs coaching staff when he traitored to Spurs.

8. Pompey myth Kev the kitman used to be Kev the hitman

Kev 'the Kitman' McCormak has certainly been Pompey kitman for a long time, he has been a constant in a period of incredible flux. But prior what must be an tedious job of picking up the kit of rich twenty somethings, he was also a Commonwealth Games Boxer. In 1990 he represented Wales in New Zealand and he apparently came close to a medal. He is a big bloke and looks like he can look after himself. But there is a bit of an urban myth that he beat Audley Harrison in a fight. 

Unfortunately I cant find any evidence of this despite Audleys entire amateur career record being readily available, although Kev did hold the Amateur Boxing Association of England Super Heavyweight Championship in 1990 and 1991 a title that was held by Harrison six years later in 1997. I suppose the fight is possible as Harrison was born in 1971 so would have been of age when Kev was at the height of his powers. But I like the idea that when the bailiffs finally come to close us down they will have to get past Kev. I also like the idea that someone has taken the time to write a childrens educational book, check it out:

9. Fast down the wing, faster at spitting rhymes

The situation looks even more bleak today..so lets be increasingly irreverent..

Paul Hall – One of my favourite players of the 90s, fast as you like, and a direct runner – he still couldn’t finish. He and Paul Hall creeped off to Jamaica in the middle of the season in 1997 annoying the fans and were booed on their return. However they re-established themselves in the team and in the fans affections, During their time at the club they were part of a semi-successful cup-run in '96-'97 and although it ended at the Qtr final stage the the news were excited enough to ask who would record the official Pompey Cup final song (why have they disappeared of late?) the answer was unequivocal, Hall and Fitz! Now a over a decade later it turns out that Paul Hall is as fast at spitting rhymes as he was down the wing as part of S.K.O I'm not gonna lie to you, its not my kind of music but 10,000 people (including someone purporting to be Jimmy 'Sanjay' Carter) have watched the video

and while your at it why not follow Paul on twitter @paulhall22

Top 10 Pompey stories - 10: Thats entertainment

In a week in which Pompey lost to an injury time winner, were offered a derisory sum by an average championship rival for two of our best young players, purchased a 23 yr old centre forward who having scored 3 times in 6 seasons as a professional spent nine months inside before Pompey promptly made him into a midfielder, were subject to yet another winding up order and were relying on, in this of all weeks, an Italian whose main business idea were semi-submerged cruise liners marketed as 'underwater' casinos or the lead singer of a washed up rock group who he didn't even front during their best years, I thought it might be an idea to attempt to remember some of the reasons we invest financially and emotionally in Portsmouth football club. These are not the stories of our title winning years or cup final reminiscence but our top ten favourite stories or myths involving our club, the things that generally only true fans would know or care about. So over the next ten days we will blog from ten to one, who knows by the time we are through maybe the future will be brighter for the blues!

Number 10. Now Thats entertainment

The match day entertainment at Fratton park has befitted our stadium, dated. I enjoyed laughing at my fellow fans as they stumbled around during dizzy and came up woefully short during the crossbar challenge. There was always the spectacle of the Pompey announcer trying, and inevitably failing to rouse the fans interest in some individual picking a box at random to be told they had hilariously won the booby prize of a Pompey calendar instead of the super grand prize which usually amounted to just shy of 20 quid or the awkwardness as 20,000 grown men watched the enthusiastic gyrations of prepubescent school girls in the guise of the ingeniously named Pompey belles cheer leading squad. But rarely, v rarely the halftime show conjures up more entertainment than the preceding three quarters of an hour. My memory of the details of this remain sketchy but during one of numerous great escapes from relegation to third flight football in the mid to late 90s one fresh faced youngster no more than 10 years old was on the pitch for some contrived reason or another, touch line Tony cheerily asked his name, age, where he came from before finishing with the equally benign 'whose your favourite player' scamp, without missing a beat replied with brutal honesty, 'no-one, they're all crap' I swear the cheer was as loud as when Pompey went two up vs Milan or Mendes volleyed our relegation worries further away. As the Jam might say,now that's entertainment. 

Appleton's start not as good as you may think...

An easy ride for Appleton?

As we come into the New Year, the team is playing well, Appleton has had the bottle to play Futacs and that is paying dividends. The atmospherics coming from the club are positive regarding his tenure thus far. After the Chelsea game, as often during cup games you come away thinking, if we play like that in the league, everything will be fine.

Appleton is doing a better job than Cotterill, correct?. Well yes but i'd argue he has had an easier ride, everyone is aware that Pompey are better at home than they are away, and that is borne out in the statistics.

Whittingham/Grey Points per game at Home              3.0

Appleton PPG at Home                                             2.0

Cotts PPG at Home                                                  1.4

Appleton PPG Away                                                 1.0

Cotts PPG Away                                                       0.4

Whittingham/Grey PPG Away                                    0.3

But that has to be compared with the respective quality of the clubs they have played against:

Cotts Average position of opponents            Home                             3.3

Whittingham/Grey                                       Away                              6.3

Cotts                                                          Away                              6.7

Appleton                                                     Home                             13.5

Appleton                                                     Away                              16.25

Whittingham/Gray                                        Home                             19.3

Cotterill was unlucky with the opponents he had, and at home especially did very well, on the flip side Appleton has had a relatively easy start (save the Scum game but even that is an anomaly due to the derby nature of the game) no doubt you can only beat who is put in front of you, but Appleton is about to have the opportunity to prove himself the next 6 fixtures are:

                                 Current league position

West Ham (H)                                            2

Cardiff (A)                                                  3

P'boro (H)                                                 15

Hull (H)                                                      6

Birmingham (A)                                         14

Blackpool (A)                                             7

By mid-February we will be in a much better place to judge Appleton's start. Hopefully the future of the club will be in better hands by then and certainly not owned by a man who is attempting to start up an 'underwater casino' which once you have looked at the plans is actually a semi-submerged boat and not quite the Poseidon adventure it seems (we will blog re the takeover next week when there is hopefully something more to say).

Kitson not shot shy...

Pompey have the 7^th best defence in the league and the 15^th best attack. So we thought it was time to stat attack on the strikers who are failing us.

                    Goals       Shots per game      Shots on target      Shots per goal

Varney                5       1.7 (3)                      37.5% (7)              7.5 (4)

Norris                  4        1.3 (5)                     26.7% (10)             7.5 (4)

Kitson                 3        1.9 (2)                     35% (8)                 15.5 (9)

Erik                     3        0.7 (10)                   63% (2)                   2.7 (2)

Halford                2        1.3 (5)                     21% (11)                 14 (8)

Ward                   2        1.0 (8)                     33.3% (9)               7.5 (4)

Futacs                 2         2.5 (1)                    40% (5)                   2.5 (1)

Benjani                1         1.5 (4)                    44% (3)                      9 (7)

Kanu                   1          1.3 (5)                   75% (1)                      4 (3)

Mullins                 1         0.9 (9)                   40% (5)                    20 (10)

Lawrence             0          0.7 (10)                 43% (4)                   n/a (11)

I am not a Kitson hater, I appreciate his effort more than other Pompey fans but he has a poor shots on target ratio, and a worse shots per goal ratio. He works hard but only has one assist so far this season. I think we all know how important Varney is and we look forward to his return. Kanu is still accurate and actually manages to get a surprising number of efforts on target, as opposed to Erik, who does not shoot often, but will also get it on target. I imagine Halford would be frustrated with his accuracy, because he has one hell of a pile driver on him.

To be fair to Lawrence, although he has not yet scored this season (although he did against Watford for it to be incorrectly ruled offside) he tops the clubs assist table with 5, the 16^th best record in the Championship.

Pompey and Saints, same number of players used, different results

Pompey have a tiny squad as the News have pointed out a number of times, but we have used 24 players this season, which is the same number as scum, (albeit 12 shy of the Doncaster Willy McCay experiment) and Pompey fans (myself included) maintain the spine of the squad is strong, so I think Appleton is right to be looking at the peripheral players (Benjani and Kanu included)

Anyway enough statistical meandering. I have faith in Appleton but he needs the backing and soon.

Belhadj - what a man

Didnt think it was possible for Belhadj to be any more of a legend than after this?

well read on...

Police probe Belhadj bigamy allegation

(AFP) 

BESANCON, France — Former Lyon and Portsmouth footballer Nadir Belhadj is being investigated for bigamy following a complaint made by a woman claiming to be his wife, a judicial source revealed on Thursday.

The woman made the complaint in December after discovering that Belhadj had married another woman at the French embassy in Qatar in June last year, according to prosecutor Virginie Deneux, confirming a story that had appeared in Le Progres regional daily.

The woman, who is Algerian and lives in the Jura region in eastern France, told investigators that she married Belhadj in 2009 in Oran, Algeria and gave birth to his child in June 2011.

According to her, Belhadj had opened divorce proceedings in Algeria but they were yet to reach a conclusion.

"We're right at the start of the inquiry and the investigations," Deneux told AFP.

"The complainant has made statements and provided us with documents. The police investigators must now confirm that they are accurate.

"Bigamy is rarely treated in the criminal courts. In general, it tends to go to the civil courts."

If investigators conclude that bigamy has taken place, prosecutors may ask for Belhadj's second marriage to be annulled.

Belhadj, 29, is a France-born Algerian international and currently plays for Qatari side Al-Sadd, with whom he won the Asian Champions League in November.

New year, new owners? new worries...

Do you remember when Gregory was chairman? When Vince Wolanin and Howe attempted to take over? When Terry V bought the club for a pound? Simple days with easily identified and researchable characters.

The news today from Andy A that there would be a new owner within a week, which had been pre-empted by Appleton who had made positive noises at the weekend, should bring about excitement within the club. But all Pompey fans will feel trepidation. We have been burned so many time recently. We have written about feeling stupid for believing in Antonov despite there being clear evidence that he was a crook. THIS time when the name is revealed we will have an objective look at the individual involved.

BUT even if we dont agree with the new owner or consortium, what can we do? Nothing. The fit and proper persons test will not eliminate anyone from the equation. Andy A has already stated he is 'fairly satisfied that they the finances to take the club forward' fairly satisfied?! This is why it is so important to try to get fan representation on the board and part ownership of the club. We continue to wait and wonder...

Still exciting times...potentially.

Two players for every position? Appleton would be so lucky...

A good result for Pompey against Watford. But Watford are frankly are a poor team. The club continues to drift towards a mid-table position. I dont think Appleton can do much more. We simply need more players.

Appleton has talked of his desire to have two players for each position. Geekier eagle eyed readers of wswu will remember we have previously written of our support for this simple squad philosophy prominently espoused by mourinho. Appleton went on to explain that he felt wide-men were his priority in the unlikely event of him being given any backing for transfers this January. Well a perusal of the official squad pages on the Pompey website reveals the threadbare nature of our squad with just 20 1st team players including the untried Williams and just blooded Futacs, listed.

By somewhat ambitiously assuming Pompey will play a 442, not listing players for two positions (i.e. ward used once not as a utility RB/DM/CM/RM) and not including soon to be returned to WBA Mattock the squad breakdown looks like this:

GK. 1st Henderson.  2nd. Ashdown

LB. 1st TBH.             2nd. Herman

CB. 1st Rocha.         2nd. Mokoena

CB. 1st Pearce.        2nd.

RB. 1st Halford.        2nd.

LM. 1st Varney.         2nd. Williams

CM. 1st Mullins.        2nd. Ward

CM. 1st Norris.          2nd

RM. 1st Lawrence.    2nd. Husleklepp

CF. 1st Kitson.           2nd. Benjani

CF. 1st Futacs.          2nd. Kanu

You can not argue the squad is thin. And of course the reality is more nuanced, Ward and Mokoena are used in the defence as well as midfield, Lawrence can be used centrally and Varney and Husleklepp can be used up top (and are listed as such on the website) but by listing the players you can see the multiple problems Appleton is faced with:

1. No left back - or at least no left back he seems to favour with TBH cut adrift and a propensity to not use older players makes the future look dark for cup winner herman. Having said that I disagree with Appleton ostracising TBH, he had a cracking game against Watford.
2. No competition at right back with Halford the only real option...
3. Means no competition at centre half
4. Little competition at centre mid, Mokoena similarly out in the cold means Mullins and Norris have the positions to themselves a fact borne out by their ever present status this season
5. Appleton has focused on widemen as the immediate area of concern, but according to us these positions are the best catered for by the squad (alongside CF). Therefore he must not consider Williams ready and prefers at least one of Lawrence, Erik and Varney as predominantly strikers, centre midfielders or attacking midfielders a la prosinecki, merson etc.
6. Strikers are the best catered for position in the squad, even though I imagine most Pompey fans including us, think it is out biggest problem area.

I think if you look at it objectively the spine of Goalie, Pearce and Rocha, Norris and Mullins, Lawrence and Varney is strong. Halford is a cracking rightback. I think, despite Futcas' two goals in two games we need a main striker, Kitson and Futacs can then compete for the second starting position. After that it has to be a LB.