7. Pompey saved by rubbish striker

Yakubu had turned up from Israel at the tail end of the promotion season, with some classically lazy, slightly racism journalism speculating that no-one knew how old he really was and how the club were going to have to age test his bones to see how old he actually was. Anyway he provided an important boost to the promotion push that had suffered a Christmas slump. The next year in the Premier league he had gone ten games without scoring, 60 shots had led to 9 goals (still a significantly better ratio than Kitson's 1 goal for 15 shots). So 'Arry had a brainwave, Yakubu needed help, and that help was going to come in the form of a man who had been subject to a transfer deal to AC Milan af the man they needed came in the form of Luther Blisset, to continue the mild racism, Blisset had himself apparently been sold to AC Milan after they had mistaken him for John Barnes (!). Luther 'It doesnt matter how much money they pay you to play in Italy, you cant get Rice Krispies' Blisset was employed as a striker coach. Unbelievably it worked and Yakubu went on to score 14 goals in the last 16 games of the season. I distinctly remember signing 'One Luther Blissett' in celebration as the Yak blasted one in at Ewood Park. In fact it was so successful 'Arry reused the formula in inviting Les Ferdinand to the Spurs coaching staff when he traitored to Spurs.